We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
