Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
