i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
