Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
