Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
