you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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