yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
