I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
