I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
