ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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