Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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