Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We are all done wearing pants today
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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