I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
