I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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