you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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