i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
