omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
a search helicopter?!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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