i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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