I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
