Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
