And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
