And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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