He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize