capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she peed on how many people?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
