i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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