how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
