No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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