i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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