Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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