he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
