Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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