dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
