if i can run in heels then i can drive
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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