Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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