Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
