Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
