so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
