my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize