well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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