i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
