singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
