Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
