Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
