I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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