why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
be right there i have to get my cape
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
