After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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