found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
