Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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