How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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