Apparently you make a good broom.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
