i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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