grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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