sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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