Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
