I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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