I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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