I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...