I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
