friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize