I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
