I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
