I think my vagina is haunted
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
