He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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