Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
