There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
