i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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