meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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