Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
