yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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